In my 38 years of being, I’ve had some highs and I’ve had some lows. I’ve had some really big wins, and some mind blowing losses.
Some days I’ve felt like I’m sitting on top of the world, and other days I’ve felt like I am a complete and utter failure. A failure of a wife, a failure of a daughter, a failure of a mother, and any other failure that you can think of. Somebody who just can’t get it right. Some days I’ve felt that I have everything necessary to conquer the world, and other days I’ve felt like the world had conquered me. I’ve cried a river of tears. Tears of sadness, and tears of disappointment. Disappointment not only in other people but disappointment in myself. Disappointed in some of the decisions that I’ve made and disappointed that I’m not anywhere near where I thought I’d be.
Yes, I’ve had some experiences that have brought me tears and sadness. Yes, there was a time when it seemed that all hope was lost. But, I’m still here. I don’t know why that seems so cliché. But, it’s true. I’m still here! Which means that the bad things that I’ve done and the bad things that have happened to me didn’t kill me. Someone once said, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And, I couldn’t agree more.
Everywhere that I’ve been, every experience I’ve had makes me unique and makes me the woman that I am today. A woman that is determined to do better, a woman that is determined to be better, a woman that is determined to rise. Every day rising, in order to become that woman. You know, the one who walks in a room and commands it without saying one word. A woman that is confident in herself and knows what she brings to the table. A woman that doesn’t know it all but knows she’s on her way. A woman that continues to educate herself. A woman that is gracious and treats others with respect. A woman that shines from the inside out. Yes, that woman! A victorious woman rising!
I refuse to be bitter and mean. Yes, things have happened to me and I could be mean and hateful. Maybe even with great reason. But, I will not live my life like that. I have one life to live and I choose to not look like what I’ve been through. I choose not to wear every heartbreak on my sleeve. I choose to continue to tell myself how beautiful and strong I am. Even when I question it. Even when others question it. I will continue to say it until it becomes a part of my being. I will look at myself and admire what I see taking note of those things that I should work on then doing the work. That is continuing to rise.
Also, being that sister (to the women in my life). One that doesn’t hate on other ladies. But uplifts, encourages, inspires, and speaks good things about others. And, if there isn’t anything good to say, keeping it to myself. One that gives back to those who need it. And, never forgetting not only where I’ve come from but how far I’ve come. That is continuing to rise.
I am her and she is me. A woman that has experienced the highest of the highs and the deepest of the lows. Knowing, those experiences don’t define who I am nor do they determine where I’ll go. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am love and I am worthy of love. I am a victorious woman rising!
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